Me and Machines

Whether God purports that I live like apes sans science or machines, or I am technologically jinxed, I am beginning to doubt. Could all of these be mere co-incidences? Please enlighten me:

1. Immediate context: I cannot send emails from my gmail! I was replying to a mail thread about a Music event we're to attend this Sunday, till one of them replied to me: "Should I guess your reply or is it a cryptic puzzle to be solved" and rummaging through the entire thread, I suddenly realized that my signature was all that was visible in my reply mails and not a word of what I wrote. Hell! I immediately got on to Google Chrome (thinking maybe finally Google declared - if you wnna Gmail, you better use Chrome). Scarlett was patient enough to open all my mails and confirm she saw NOTHING on them. Now I do not know what bug could that be that eats up the words from your mail by the time it is delivered in the recipients Inbox (coz’ I could see my full mails in my 'Sent Items').

2. No machine ever survives hale and long in my life, even though I am everything but clumsy, really. I did not break a single neck or hand of the toys I played with as a child. In fact I have all of preserved (“for her kids”, Ma kids) and all in one piece. This might not be ‘the proof’, but says some thing, does it not?

Machines-gone-bad-made-me-mad examples:

i) My DELL laptop was just 2 weeks old when two keys popped out. I did not have long nails and my fingers, dear readers, are pretty lithe. At least I know how to type without popping out keys of the machine. It must be the guy who fixed internet on my machine, I concluded. After the keypad, within a year the speakers and the motherboard had to be replaced and since it all happened in the warranty period, it did not pinch much. You can read about my experience here. As if that wasn’t enough for one machine – very soon my ‘@’ got exchanged with ‘close inverted commas’ and the ‘back slash’, type ‘#’ is it shows ‘£’, while ‘\’ disappeared altogether and became ‘#’. And since the warranty period is over and I had no faith that this one more repair will be its last, I decided to get used to my ‘new’ keys and Google for back slashes whenever required.

ii) Biometric Fingerprint systems cannot identify my fingerprints. I discovered it when in my second organization they introduced biometric fingerprints for attendance. In that office of some 1500 people, I was the only one whose fingerprints it would not recognize. Two whole weeks we tried to capture a sample, rubbed my fingers so many times to free it of all moisture that whatever little imprint was left that too much have eroded off. Finally we all gave up and while my colleagues did it with a small thumb, I had to write down my entry and exit timings every day in that just-mine register. History repeated itself when I went for my Learner’s Driving License. It was a long, restless queue and my finger lived upto their reputation. Irritated, the security guard put his own thumb impression. Does it mean if I am to be convicted ever, no one will be able to prove it using my fingerprints? Can somebody have no fingerprints AT ALL? And I found this, just that noone came to interview me. Sigh!

iii) My assembled desktop (my 1st PC) became a pain in no time, but behaved after a few slaps and kicks at the CPU (I was the rough n tough type then), so no grumbling about that.

3. My BSc 1st year exam results had highest in English, 2nd highest in Zoology, while I flunked in Chemistry. I could never accept the theories at face value

4. Little did I consider these things when I decided to join this software giant. What ensued is a little hard to believe considering its reputation as one of the best workplace in the globe. If I go on to tell you point after point, it will make a thesis to prove that I'm tech-jinxed.

However, being the optimist that I am, I can tell the God of Technology has not completely disowned me. My 2 year old Nokia 3230 alive and ringing and as handsome as a 6 month old is a glaring testimony, besides the newly bought gadgets and machines post marriage.

At the moment, the few glaring ones are all I can recollect, but tell you my life has seen much more and over the years I only feel surprized if a machine is behaving itself for too long with me. Sure you have your share of experiences.... Or is it just me???!!!??? (Thinking....)